I'm drunk in a hotel pool
Pretending I haven't been born yet
You said, "I hate to see you like this
And I'm worried about you in that apartment."
And I'm crying on a queen-sized bed
I'm cold, but I already passed out
I woke up to your text
It was a picture of your breast
It said, "I hope you come around"
I guess I never did
Do you remember the words that you said?
Most summer nights when you remade me
Pulling the smoke from my mouth
Dancing up to the house
Like together we weigh nothing
I remember the sound of your car
Taking bets on the shit we'd get into
Playing Chelsea Hotel Number Two for you
In my old attic apartment
Now I'm saying that I want you back
What I really mean is that I want to feel clean again
I'm saying that I want you back
But I just want to feel young
And I just want to feel loved
And if you gave me the chance
I would just let you down
All again and again
And again and again
And if you gave me the chance
I'd end up like them
All again and again
And again and again and again
I was pacing the room like a cage
Trying to arrange the words to explain this
But my thoughts are too scattered and afraid
And I'm not even sure if I'm sorry
I remember every single word
On those hot nights you'd rearrange me
You'd whisper beneath sheets
Like a rose in your teeth
Melting me with your absinthe
And we drift off to sleep in front of the TV
Watching them running into the ground
Now I'm saying that I want you back
What I really mean is that I just wanna to feel clean again
I'm saying that I want you back
But I just wanna feel young
And I just wanna feel loved
And if you gave me the chance
I would just let you down
All again and again
And again and again
And if you gave me the chance
I'd end up just like them
All again and again
And again and again
And if you gave me the chance
If you gave me the chance
If you gave me the chance
If you gave me the chance
I'd end up just like them
I'd end up just like them
At home, losing track of the days
Trying hard to be strong
But I'm not yet
I keep dreaming I'm home
Still, I head for the coast
God, I'm stubborn as a child
But I said I remember it all
Just like, honey, your car 1440
It's not in me tonight
But, god, I would have died in that car for your, darling
I guess I'm saying that I'm happy that
You found someone more tangible and honest to hold onto
And saying that when I come back
I will try and belong to this place I'm a stranger to