Gold standard in stupidity (Modern morons, modern morons) No one's known less in history (Modern morons, modern morons) Went to the moon nigh every year (Modern morons, modern morons) Now we're scrounging change for beer (Modern morons, modern morons) (Modern morons, modern morons) (Modern morons, modern morons) (Modern morons, modern morons) Home of the baked, land of the freaks God bless our idiocracy Sliced up faces made to please Juiced on 'roids A nation of grotesqueries Drooling on our shirts We're so cool it hurts We elect whores who should be shot (Modern morons, modern morons) Watch tv with no fucking plot (Modern morons, modern morons) And if we thought it'd get us higher (Modern morons, modern morons) We'd light the goddamn books on fire (Modern morons, modern morons) (Modern morons, modern morons) (Modern morons, modern morons) (Modern morons, modern morons) Sugar salt fat tits fuck now The right to consume the only sacred cow Tan lines from where you're dunce cap's been It's the new bold crossed-eyed American dream It's the LCD, so good for you and me (Modern morons, modern morons) (Modern morons, modern morons) (Modern morons, modern morons) (Modern morons, modern morons)