Facing you when I'm face to face
That's years of commitment we're flushing down the drain
I remember sitting by your bedside in the hospital
Now we're hostile – a broken bottle that won't contain
Drops of tears from the lies I told
I see your siblings now getting old
Your mother was my mother, how she doing?
It's been a while, I still love her
Amazing holding a heart of Gold, so
Sickle cell won't defeat you g; I know your strength is incredible
I'm praying for you and the ones you love, I never wanted this
I was selfish; I was scared, when it came to kids
With the mutuals that we had growing cold to me
I don't blame them when they had to choose you over me
Better is a neighbor that is near, then a brother distant and far
Open rebuke over hidden love
Iron sharpens iron
But you said it to me blunt
I could say I'm sorry
But you just wanted honesty from the jump
Candor, consistency
Wise counsel and care
But when I let you down, I really let you down
Now silence is the sound, silence is the sound
Silence getting loud, silence getting loud
I sync so I hope, you don't let me drown
Now in the horizon, I see the sun set
The night falls, rise in regret
Between the lines I go straight to the point
May the distance never cause us to be enemies
I see 'da lyfe' and it seems like a distant memory
Best believe till I rest in peace
You're still a friend to me
I wear my heart on my sleeve, then let the blood flow
When it's getting harder to breathe, I let my pen know
Remember friends who were fans of the art
Nikaela and Peace were a part of the team
Before the team fell apart
I miss those two, ride or die for the cause
God was opening doors; they would help with the tours
Mistakes graver than six feet, the dirt on my shoulder
The blueprint with ether receding trust, now the loves gone
And these money issues are stacking like Jenga
I made the wrong move in this tower of babel
A house of cards built on sand – debt harder to handle
I never plan to be over my head
Wish my overheads were really low instead
Now I'm over debt – I overturn the red
Hours bled, now I'm losing time with the things I said
God give me the wisdom to redeem and not to lie in bed
Defeated in the mind and so depressed because
I haven't seen my daughter in three years
Cry like a man; a testimonial written with vigor and apathy
Contradicting the disciplines that I minor in
A black man who is presently in his abstinence
The finer things that were luxuries in a year that was fiction
That 2020 came lynching many with no remorse
A darker time that was overcasting with fear the force
We fell in awe, it kept coming – hitting us more and more
Who could we call through the course of it all
Falls down, feel the pain, core, round
Never ending cycling; seeing it in the years to come
Violence inciting and seeing my people rioting
Fighting for a seat at the table they chair, we cannot win
Let us in
Scared to see us walk before we fly again
Higher sins, ceiling to these flaws we keep on hiring
6 months unemployed, universal credit; the time I'm in
L on earth; what did we learn, I need another win
Dying to survive, with corona killing
Taking the life of Faith's father, how do I father my faith?
I be the absent man, another taking my place
With a star that didn't plan it still asking for space
Steady looking in the mirror, but reflecting it breaks
Pinnacle of the pain that I was hoping would change
Now I bargain with Jehovah, start resetting the game
But all I hear you saying is 'trust in my name'