The worst thing about being naked
And then being hit by a car
Is that road rash is a problem for skin
Why was I naked
In the middle of the road at noon?
I am glad you asked
Imaginary other half of this conversation
I have no idea
Some characteristics of bipolar disorder
Include dissociation, hallucinations
And fugue states
So sometimes I wake up in places I didn't go to sleep
So
There I am, nude
Splayed out on a car like a slutty chicken
Screaming about the government
Conspiracy to take away my feet
Not my real feet
Just my brain feet
I'm about six inches away from the concrete
When I realize, in slow motion
Like the exact opposite of a rhinoceros attack
This is not how I imagined my life would turn out
When I was little
I broke both my ankles jumping off a roof
Because I was sure a cape would enable me to fly
My parents attributed this to my strong imagination
Last year
My therapist called it a delusion
I fail to see the difference
Also, I really can fly
And see the future
And make stupid people leave coffee shops with my mind
Forty-three percent of the time
Sometimes I see people as colors
This guy right here wears purple, which means he just got a promotion
Or a blowjob
A blow motion, if you will
The point is, the point is
Here is a list of things my brain has told me to do
Join a cult
Start a cult
Become a cabinet maker
Kill myself
So, in essence, become a cabinet maker
Break into, and then paint, other people's houses
Have sex with literally everyone who reminds me of my mother
Fight people who are much fightier than me
Like the cops, so, in essence, kill myself
I think a lot about killing myself
Not like a point on a map but rather
Like a glowing exit sign at a show
That's never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave
See, when I'm up I don't kill myself because
Holy shit, there's so much left to do
And when I'm down I don't kill myself
Because then, the sadness would be over
And the sadness is my old paint under the new
The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder
I'd still be me without it but I'd be so boring
They keep telling me seeing things that aren't technically there
Is called "disturbed cognitive functioning"
I call it "having a superpower"
Once, I pulled over on the 110 freeway
And jumped out of my old Jeep
Because I saw it burst into flames
Twenty seconds before it actually burst into flames
I knew my girlfriend and I would be together
Because she turned bright pink the first time she saw me
I know tomorrow is going to come
Because I've seen it
Sunrise is going to come
All you have to do is wake up
The future has been at war
But it's coming home so soon
The future looks like a child in a cape
The future is the map and the treasure
The future looks just like gravity
Everyone is slowly drifting toward everyone else
We are all going to be part of each other one day
The future is a blue sky and a full tank of gas
I saw the future
I did
And in it, I was alive