Sometimes I get anxious
In my head I'm convinced I'm always being looked at
But I'm always looking at myself too
It's like I'm only ever sure in who I am when I'm on my own
I wish confidence was more consistent
I think a lot about
What it must feel like to wake up everyday sure in ones self
Because my morning routine consists
Of me convincing myself I'm worth it
I'm hardly convinced
It's funny how uncomfortable we can feel
Inside the bodies we've known our entire lives
It's unnatural to be ashamed of the way I was made to be
So I've been making an effort to face mirrors more often
Now I know enough to know I don't have to try to be beautiful
Because I am
I've got small ears and a lazy eye
A broad forehead and crooked teeth
I didn't have a say in how I was made
But I'm beginning to understand who I was made to be
So when I get anxious
When I'm convinced everyone is looking at me
I look at myself and smile
Knowing that I am something worth looking at
Hi it's Thursday, February 21st
I'm feeling, I'm feeling really anxious
I don't know what it's been for the past few days
But it's, it's just felt like confusion
There's a lot going on even if there's nothing at all going on
It's probably that like everything that's going on is just in my mind
I feel like I'm confused by everything, I'm anxious
And I know it's irrational
That's the thing about anxiety, it's completely irrational
That's what makes it harder to talk to anyone about
Because most people are gonna, are gonna wanna give rational answers
Well, why don't you just try being yourself?
Why don't you just text them back and see what happens?
Like these are rational answers to an irrational problem
So they don't help at all
They just make you feel even more irrational
You know?
Like fuck it I'm crazy or something