I started bein' honest with myself
Havin' conversations that weren't very easy, I need help
Three words never thought I'd speak
But here we are, Xanax bars
Started poppin' them to cope, then got addicted
Started thinkin' that I'd probably die alone
See this life is way too fast for me
I'm in the same career where half my colleagues turn to casualties
Know y'all got those R.I.P tweets up in the drafts ready to go-
For the moment that I finally take too much and overdose
Always thinkin' 'bout my fathеr burstin' into my apartment
Just to see his only son overdosin' on the carpеt
Flashin' back to every memory of when I was a kid-
While he makes a final speech before he closes up the lid
I couldn't do it anymore, flush the rest and went to war
I'm gettin' sober I'm takin' my spot
Back and shut the door on my addiction
I hope you listen
'Cause everything I write from here on out is my prescription
Yeah, that's the mission
All this fame is overrated, over what man? I been stressed
All these fake people started to surround me and my friends
I don't need that energy, I don't let those demons in
Finally startin' therapy, now it's time to reinvent, uh
I got demons (Josh we know that you got demons)
They been schemin', plottin' on my head and they control my feelins'
They make death sound so appealin'
But I keep on movin' 'cause I don't wanna give up
I been workin' I been zonin' I been craftin' up this masterpiece
Is it time where I top everyone that's out here passin' me?
You want the old Josh, I think we found him
Shook his cage and set him loose
'Bout to take over, they just don't have a clue, yeah
Thought I was done, that was just the beginnin'
I'm takin' my sound and now I'm reinventin' it
Push my limits, said no more gimmicks
I'm treatin' my music like my final minutes
Until I hit that self destruct, this is my only motive
Gotta be focused, I'm locked and loaded
Explosive, I'm so devoted
You said that you wanna break rap, I been there (already done that)
But they would never care if you never read or say somethin'
Never been through the mud, never read your day once
Tell you that you changed up, 'cause you got your pay up
And as I been climbin' the ladder, circle gets smaller
I'm sadder, enemies spawnin'
I'm flattered but I guess none of it matters
Feels like I don't have no one
Around me to tell me that I been messin' up
So I just rely upon myself to learn
There's lessons of countin' my blessins'
Countin' money is like countin' my stresses
Less I got of one, the less I got of the other
My demons pullin' me under
So guess I'm just testin' the suffer
Rather not be great, 'cause all the great ones plunder
It's easier to get high
It's easier to let go of the things that hurt you again
It's easier to get drunk
It's easier to drink up when your pain goes on, now I know