[Sage Francis] I am. More than two faced, I've got at least six with cheap tricks To hide my not-so-pretty side while accentuating cheeks and lips I use battin' rouge to battle crews who don't like the remix And you just act confused by the way I choose to fuck with a double helix Cuddle with me quick, get befuddled and sea sick My ugly mug'll be equipped to make it a struggle to see shit The beat kicks, my belly feels empty I want a person there I'll curse and swear, and act unmother-like until I persevere Haven't been to church in years, right now that's the setting I couldn't think of a better place to cover my face and have a wedding It's upsetting how plastic my mask is getting It's melting and releasing toxic fumes Covered by lots of perfume, never coming out of my closet of costumes Cartoon versions of myself get drawn out After that occurs, time gets consumed I'm in the dressing room with the caricatures Until my head is cured I'm heading for pedicures and manicures Man, if your not damn sure of whether or not To pop the question I'll let you in on the answer. Think of sex in a camper... A phony life with a trophy wife, menthol cigarettes and cancer Smoke and Mirrors So sophisticated So cool I AM. An illusion specialist turning tricks who could never diss The one the wake up next to even if it's not the one they went to bed with Breakfast at Tiffany's, skip lunch, make sure the dinner table is candle lit I squish my feet until they crunch, but I'm unable to make these sandals fit I can't just sit I need to MOVE and power walk, because Oprah said it And I won't forget it, she does it during the opening credits I'm so synthetic I like the smell of coke, get it? I powder my nose Power to hoes who pound on a hose while playing in a pound of snow I'm getting snow plowed, I KNOW It's time to fuck a guy now I just applied blush and look surprised But it's the way I plucked my eyebrows Time out, I'm in a tanning booth... reading Danielle Steel And I'm planting banana peels beneath every damn man's heel Waiting for them to fall for my sad trick I stop, drop and kneel With a little touch of magic, I'll let David cop a feel I'm not real, but I've got FEELINGS... Except in my nipples because of the breast implants To have my chest enhanced I pant in dresses but never dress in pants A club hopping strobe light honey... addicted to wrinkle cream Sipping on Listerine, Mr. Clean don't like the smell of nicotine Smoke and Mirrors So sophisticated So cool I AM. Dirtyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy