I remember writing rap songs when I was only nineteen pretending I was happy when I wasn't I remember thinking about the steak knives down stairs, and how they'd probably cut through my heart like it's nothing I remember shows at the Dope Chapel with my rap group, going home and after shock feeling worse than ever I remember wishing it could last without this weight all on my chest, and dreaming about a plane crash into the river Now that's in the past Now that's in the past I remember Sam texting me the day the Mac Miller died, and having visions of his face in my sleep I remember January, February 2019 I couldn't see past the snow and the sleet I remember putting bullet holes in the cabinets in her room and almost losing everything that I love I remember every single day from the last 5 years, creeping thoughts screaming that I ain't enough But now that's in the past But now that's in the past How about I write another rap song about feeling ugly? Or write another rap song about getting help? Or write rap song with a cryptic little story? How about I write another rap? (How about I write another rap?) How about I write another rap song about feeling ugly? Or write a rap song about how I hate to love myself? Or write another rap song just to try to fight the lonely? How about I write another rap? (How about I write another rap?) You're not the person that you are deep down You're just the person that you are I broke the bone of the finger that I thought that one could place on existence Persistently I dug couple more inches Till I found that castle that we built was a mirage Construed in all the causes that we lost Until I write another rap song standing on its merit Explain how Gravitas and self affliction make the sickest marriage I never cared until I found it in myself A lost cause yearning for the strength it takes to figure out That until it's done it's open ended as it is forever I stand alone and find a home inside a lonely cellar I picture life inside my head just like a burning star Can't kill the eagle and the world inside your head just seems to fall apart (Seems to fall apart) Because you're not the person that you are deep down You're just the person that you are How about I write another rap song about feeling ugly? Or write another rap song about getting help? Or write rap song with a cryptic little story? How about I write another rap? (How about I write another rap?) How about I write another rap song about feeling ugly? Or write a rap song about how I hate to love myself? Or write another rap song just to try to fight the lonely? How about I write another rap? (How about I write another rap?)