If only the drinks understood what I've been through If only my attempts to blot you out didn't hurt my health If only I learned how to love what I died to Then maybe I'd learn how to hate what I do to myself 'Cause I remember trips we took Like we just got home yesterday I revisit our old pictures Like the headstone on our grave I remember gifts I gave you On your birthday at the beach The engraving on your watch That marked our anniversary When does the healing start? How long do I have to feel this low? Why don't I protect my heart? I can't remember ever feeling so alone Why doesn't God show His face when I need Him to? I wish I had the strength to ask Him where He went 'Cause then maybe He'd welcome me home, like a father would And maybe I wouldn't be sitting here, oh, so spent 'Cause I remember back in Sunday school That He was in control, So I confessed Him with my mouth But that was fourteen years ago I remember nights when I would cry Alone beneath the moon Oh, if only I could find the strength To ask Him, "Where were You?" When does the healing start? How long do I have to feel this low? Why don't I protect my heart? I can't remember ever feeling so alone When does the healing start? How long do I have to feel this low? Why don't I protect my heart? I can't remember ever feeling so alone I can't remember ever feeling so alone If only I'd seen how you looked when I told you That I wouldn't leave you no matter how dark it got Then maybe I'd have seen it coming, my lover Maybe I'd have avoided becoming somebody I'm not