Late July on Calvert Street Broken shards of plastic sparkle in the gutter Pour another drink and look for silver linings At least the tank was nearly empty At least I can't get to work today Hey, come on, Baltimore I'm glad you're having a good time But please stop stealing my car It's not funny more You know I love you But please stop stealing my car Watch for running gangs of soccer moms Dodging cops while dropping kids off at ballet The only way that this makes sense Who'd steal a minivan? At least the tank was nearly empty At least I can't get to work today Hey, come on, Baltimore I'd love to come and see you, girl But I can't keep buying new cars Nothing to say anymore You know I love you But please stop stealing my car Hey, come on, Baltimore It's not funny anymore Please stop stealing my car