Now I'm tryna say the things on my mind Life's been a mess drown me in the river nile Then you take me to the grave on the 9th At night, bury me in the 9th month of the 9th year After I die, yeah I don't give a fuck triple nine my guy That's how I want it done I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live poor The devil on my shoulder telling me I'll die numb Oh uh, yeah I don't really wanna go But I'm haunted by anxiety oh no And I can't even pretend this is no joke Oh uh oh uh My heart's breaking Soul's hurt and my memories are fading Got no love from my family no rating And no lies I just feel like deviating It is so crazy Oh became a lonely kid Now I feel like I don't even wanna stay In this world since the very day you passed away It's so hard I mean Only I know How hard it's been for me just growing up Since the age of 10 I ain't had motherly love And lately I miss her so much it all just hurts yeah Y'all don't know me Please don't judge me I don had too many nightmares before me And I've been tryna stomach all the pain so I don't fall deep Sinking in my misery it's lonely I cannot live Sinking in my misery it's lonely I cannot leave I don took percecets and a couple pill of molly And I pray to God that he don chase these demons from me Lately in my feelings Now I'm tryna say the things on my mind Life's been a mess drown me in the river nile Then you take me to the grave on the 9th At night, bury me in the 9th month of the 9th year After I die, yeah I don't give a fuck triple nine my guy That's how I want it done I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live poor The devil on my shoulder telling me I'll die numb