Bad back, bad back, bad back One half zig while the other half zag Stand too long and the whole sit hunch Sit too long and I can't stand up Gramps out for a Sunday drive A man is betrayed by his lumbar spine Who pull up to the spot like, "I'll meet y'all inside I need like five" Corpse pose, staring at the moon Entirely on fire, Sciatica to boot I'm ready to be turned into soup Or shot into space, or squashed into cubes "Rate your pain level on a scale from one to ten" I said, "Well doc, I tell you, I feel like I lost a friend" I'm usually okay to simply shut up and cope But these days more than ever, my back is like, "Nope"