I tried to break it to him gently
That there was self-evidently
No clear way to find your purpose in this life
See, the cards are dealt you just one way
Too bad, you can't choose not to play
Why bother with a job, a home, a wife?
Obviously there's nothing left for mortal man
But just to rage against a cold uncaring fate
A pointlessness that's tough to overstate
He just said, "Yeah, that's pretty deep"
And changed the subject to the weather, saying
"The clouds are gone, and now the sun is shining through
When times are tough, it seems there's nothing left to do
But a brighter day will come your way when love comes rushing in"
And I tried to let him down real easy
When I pointed out that cheesy
Beach-read romance is the cruelest kind of con
Yeah, and even if you get the girl
That's just two more "snookums" in the world
And one more heartbreak anthem when she's gone
Constantly mistaking hormones for a spark
But after newness wears off, things are sure to sour
Winter takes the bloom off every flower
He said "Man, out there's some sweet gloomy girl
To turn your head around"
"So many days when passion plays us all for fools
So many old gray lumps of coal to find one jewel
But there's nothing like when lightning strikes,
And love comes rushing in"
And then, just for once, horrible as it was
I almost understood what he was talking about
About a million cups of cappuccino just
To wash me back on solid ground again, oh yeah
He said, "Lay the burdens of the world aside for once
A night with friends will do you wonders, come on out"
I said, "I'd rather watch this ice cube die a slow death
On the hot sidewalk outside of my house"
Then I got caught with just a fleeting thought:
What if contentment weren't just for the stupid and the weak?
Two weeks, yeah all in all, of banging my head on walls
To make me feel much better, or is that worse?
But no one can say I didn't try
My best to warn him
That the trend of global warming
Means the world will turn to bacon in five years
See, these studies and statistics show
The whole thing's gonna blow
A painful end to lives of loneliness and tears
Yeah now, how could he deny that I was right?
I was sure there wasn't too much more to say
Hoping I at least could ruin his day
But all my cold facts got deflected with a little shrug and smile
Saying, "The dumb mistakes, unlucky breaks, the fear and doubt
Hey, every trial just takes a while to figure out
But we'll all see eventually when love comes rushing in"