The sun shines down on my naked calf The heather's licking me fine thighs As I 'm standing by yon bonnie braes As the highland under our feet lies And I scratch me balls and ye scratch ye groin And you lovingly hold my hand And we kiss a whisky- flavouréd kiss And we sip at the beer from each other's hands. Me moustache rich with the rare oul' times With beer and haggis and all And ye curl on my chest in the whimpering wind That lifts my kilt to reveal me balls. And we stand my love me highland dove And the clouds all smile at us from above And sprinkle our faces with heavenly graces My finger anon in your mitten I shove. Oh my love, my only Highland dove As we stand on the hill And we cannot stand still My pen and your ink draw this highlander idyll.