And now that the dust has settled I can begin to pick up the fragments Such devastation left in the wake of something so transient How deeply I had longed for a moment of clarity I'm not sure if the fog lifted or was just replaced by my apathy I have lied so frequently I convinced even myself what was true But to finally be honest, I think I preferred the solitude For all that I've lost, it doesn't feel worth the gain For all that I've lost, I left it all in vain It's clear to me now that I feel your absence more than I ever felt your presence What I knew as sunlight was merely phosphorescence Regardless of the source, the memory still exists in shadow A silhouetted reminder of my ability to sink that low And I'm not here because I was strong, I'm here because I was scared Even after so long I remained unprepared Left wondering if I'll ever be capable of enough In sickness I gave it up Saw the end in that room Lost what I thought I knew What's the difference? What's the difference?