And so I say goodbye When the needle leaves my vein, that's why my heart hurts My life's wrapped around the block like a starburst I can't seem to find love, hate is all my heart harbors I embark through the dark till the day of my departure I love drugs but wonder what's love Haunted by tough love and some harsh words Grew up rough and rugged off free lunch that the park serve Yo tell me can I still die a legend, underestimated I waited longer than my momma did for section 8, hey Hip hop is really dead or someone excavates it My homies bodies desecrated, mommas devastated The shit is reciprocated to commemorate em So I don't gotta ask god how come I never made it And I am not a rapper these are facts So keep me separated I'm a product of what stolen life could generated I come from where it's dissilis, so hope is dissipated I was manipulated by the sound of pistol cadence Close my eyes and see the eyes of those obliterated Souls long forgotten as our neighborhood proliferated What was once a kind heart been eviscerated What wasn't liquidated be refrigerated Can't see clear through the tears Cause my world so fucking pixelated I can't articulate the fact I can't get situated I wrote this shit so faded My mission statement Before my life is taken Cause my deaths anticipated Dawg I been waiting Cause it's a cold game And I don't need Bullets have no name Man you out like a choke chain Those wore bling In this war paint Where saints meet their doom Ain't no room for the ordained But I still pray More rain leaves more drained I suffer softly, blood shed mixed with growing pains Blood stains on my skin like some rogain Hard in my heart just like arm n hammer cocaine I'll probably never change not for fame or the dope game And in my mind I'm the king of this hill, no propane In my heart I'm a peasant wish a legend I will perish Blessings no longer present so my pain just has no merit Devil mocks me like a parrot, I see familiar spirits Memories I dream to cherish wear it through my appearance Cause shots and broken dreams my homes filled with broken things I wonder hopelessly if I'm immune to dopamine I know what hopeless means Wear the crown of broken kings Hope it seeps, my heart gon freeze I beg for death to notice me I ain't gon bitch I just switch to chase some blue faces And now I'm on the run for a few cases Wish the block was adjacent to my hiding places Police trying to play me So they raid me cause they're hiding aces Just like hard times I'm a last long In case I don't tho I'm a spit this like my last song I know my son probably wondering why their dads gone What would I say if I could speak before I passed on I know I let you down son, let me explain Something like a heart attack here comes my chest pain Xavier James I miss the days of being your baseball coach Nowadays I hit n run the way the baseball goes Life stole my smile it's like my face all froze And I can't seem to stay clean just like your baseball clothes I fear one day you'll see your father in another man If you call me by my name instead of dad I would understand Caught up in the streets and I let you down Now I drink my memories and the streets just let me drown So now I say goodbye, gang unit played me My poor baby's gotta suffer, fuck I hope they never hate me