I really didn't mean
For it to fall apart
I tried not to tell the truth
But I couldn't play the part
I really didn't mean
For it to end like it did
I was full of good intentions
But I was losing my shit
Still I wait to wait to let you in
I'm naked on a pinnacle in the wind
I tremble, I hide
For my catcher in the rye
I'm sick of running toward that cliff
I'm tired of trying not to cry
I'm scared
I try to find my reasons why
I feel compelled to look away
When I get a tear in my eye
When will I be old?
When will I be sober?
Have much disappointment do I need
Before I trust what I think I see?
Have I been heartbrokеn enough
To know when love is rеally love?
Have I doubted myself enough
To call my own bluff?
Still I wait to try my hand
I'm still a critic in the stands
I feel I'm ready, but I don't know
If I'm bulletproof enough for the blow
I'm tired of the taste
Of cynic's spit in my mouth
There's never enough dopamine in a day
To know exactly how I'll make it out
I tell myself that I'll leave today
Tomorrow I'll figure out how