I thought I'd be happy I thought I'd find purpose I thought I'd find something that I thought I was missing You're staying in college Borderline alcoholic Asleep in your bedroom It's the only place you feel safe I said I'm sorry I've been beating myself up so much that it's making me angry It's freezing outside It's so cold outside that I'm crying When I've got nothing to be sad about except I miss my friends I miss my dog I just miss feeling like nothing is wrong And I keep on having these dreams where I don't know where I am But it's okay Because it feels like a familiar place Maybe it's timing but most of the time I haven't been feeling like myself And I'm so indifferent about my own health About my own happiness I've been up drinking I've had nothing to do for the past several days because it's freezing And I've been thinking of you I won't apologize I'll overanalyze So you can criticize all these words I've been thinking Fuck I've been up drinking I said I'm sorry But I've been staying up late going over every little thing I thought I was done believing that you were the best thing that I've ever fucking had