You really like gorillas? We've got just the pet for you
It's the way you're forced to act to survive our schools
Make your whole life revolve around sports
Walk tough, don't act too smart
Be a mean machine then we'll help you get ahead
Jock-o-Rama, save my soul
We're under the thumb of the beef patrol
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Pep rally in the holy temple and you're forced to go
Masturbate en masse with the favored religious cult
Cheerleaders yell "ra ra team"
From the locker room parades the prime beef
When archaeologists dig this up they'll either laugh or cry
Jock-o-Rama on the brain
Redneck-a-thon driving me insane
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Unzip that old-time religion
On the almighty football field
Beer bellies of all ages
Come to watch the gladiators bleed
"Now boys, this game ain't played for fun"
"You're going out there to win"
"How do you win?"
"Get out there and snap the other guy's knee"
Beat 'em up! Beat 'em up! - Ra Ra Ra!
Snap those spinal cords - Ha Ha Ha!
Beat 'em up! Beat 'em up! - Ra Ra Ra!
Snap those spinal cords - Ha Ha Ha!
The star quarterback lies injured
Unconscious on the football field
Looks like his neck's been broken
Seems to happen somewhere every year
His mom and dad clutch themselves and cry
Their favorite son will never walk again
Coach says "That boy gave a hundred percent"
"What spirit, what a man!"
But who cares? Game's over!
Let's go get wasted, man!
To the 7-11, to the liquor store!
Let's party all night and party some more!
Another Trans-Am's wrapped itself around a telephone pole
"I ain't drunk officer, I just fell getting out of my car"
"Don't worry about it, son, we were that way when we were young"
"You've got all the skills to make a damn good businessman"
Jock-o-Rama, save my soul
We're under the thumb of the beef patrol
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Jock-o-Rama, that's the law
Come lick the butts of the beef patrol
If the future of America is handed to them
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls