I stir awake at night Stuttering, s-stuttering the words of a feeling A feeling I can no longer find All the pain that I'm holding on Self inflict for a bit, like it makes me strong Am I wrong? Not enough for your love I used to crave attention Now I've grown used to loneliness 'Cause I can't break my own heart And refuse to let you do it again My dichotomy sits between happiness and suffering This illness enervates my cheeks And it drains them of their coloring Sometimes I bloom, and then I wither My lungs collapse, pneumonia it blisters All I ever wanted was a reprieve from these aches From feeling drained, from the sadness I can't satiate ♪ What's left of us? Can you answer with honesty? I resent you too much for you to be happy with me I'm hanging on the truth, it's at the tip of my tongue I tried to feel something, but I've just grown numb I fear to hurt again, I'm afraid to let you in I lost myself that first time, I haven't been the same since Am I a fool for you? Or have I just been comfortable with abuse? ♪ I'm a hostage in my head Cut so deep from the words you've said I can't find relief Searching for reprieve Am I a fool for you? Or am I just comfortable with abuse? Am I a fool for you? Or am I just comfortable with abuse? I can't find relief Searching for reprieve