I'm nervous
I just bought my ticket
I'm standing in line
I'm marveling at the immensity of the device I'm about to enter
I have thoughts of fleeing but it's too late
I'm through the gate
They've torn my ticket and are ushering me inside
My breathing increases then becomes shallow
The buzz bar lowers
I close my eyes and begin to ascend
The fear subsides
From up here I can see everything
My vulnеrabilities marching like ants on parade
I feel safе in spite of them
I continue clicking upwards
Passing through a nexus of geometric light
The ocean crashes under my feet
I open my eyes only for a moment to gain perspective
That fire in the distance
The rainbow horizon
I'm entering a tunnel
There are bodies all around
Contorted flesh heaving
Sensual women writhing
One curling and uncurling her index finger as if to call me near
I approach her and she removes her face
A palette of melting flesh comes into focus
Rainbows turn greyscale then back to spectrums
As her face discovers its original lure
She was only kidding
I shouldn't take her so seriously
She insinuates this
Her form is beyond language
We speak in temperature
I am beyond language
My soul quakes
Clenched fists grip and this is also love
There is no bottom beneath me
No tracks behind
Wheels grind to sparks and for a moment I'm flying
My carousel is dismantling around me
There is no more safety
It's the abyss and I
It is not staring back though I am gazing like longing
Nietzsche is a liar
I'm alone here though I'm not separate from myself
We face off in a civil war
I against I
I want to lie down
I'm lying down
I want to stand up
It goes on like this
"Buonasera! Buonasera! Hai un accendino?"
A fisherman approaches
I am beyond language
I don't have a lighter
I want to smoke something
It goes on like this