I own a happy midgetI walk him in the yard He's tethered to a leashwe don't go very far Stumpy arms and legsprancing by my side He trains so hardI promised himone day we'd go outside Oh, my proud little man Summersaults and handstands Show me those silly midget tricks When I clap my handshe jumps and does a flip I tell him that it's timehe shrieks and wets the floor When I attach his leashhe drags me to the door We will show the peoplewho used to laugh at you Just what a special midgetcan be trained to do Oh, stubby dwarven friend My companion till the end Runs just as fast as he can Don't forget to flipwhen I clap my hands [Guitar solo: Martinez] Strutting down the streethe's on his brand new leash He tries to jump on peopleI keep him out of reach All the people ask mewhy I treat him wrong I tell them they did worsethen we sing our song "Happy little midget, running down the street Happy little midget, skip on stunted feet Walk my funny midget, watch him do his tricks" Then I clap my handshe jumps and does a flip