Way back when I was just ten
Simple and sweet
Everywhere, fellas would stare
Out on the street
And I felt used
Kinda confused
I would refuse to look in their eyes
But now I really love creepy old guys
We all do!
Gum disease
Skin like grilled cheese
Saggy old asses
(Saggy old asses)
Cute and vile
Hey baby, smile
To each girl that passes
They make me blush
(Can't get enough)
Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine
(That's right)
Marrying my own creepy old guy!
(I'm a creepy old guy)
My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy
I'm so happy I could cry
Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy
My creepy old groom (creepy old groom)
Play that wedding tune
Hey folks, step aside
(I am older, but I'm glad I waited)
'Cause here comes the bride
I am marrying my creepy old guy
(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy)
He's my creepy old guy
(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!)
Fix his hair
Get him prepared
For Armageddon
Sure, the groom
Crawled out of a tomb
But hey, hey, it's a wedding!
So dim the lights
Pick up some rice
Say something nice
It's my day to shine
I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy
(It's showtime)
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy
She's marrying a creepy old guy
Have you guys seen "Lolita"?
This is just like that, but fine
Creepy old dude, creepy old dude
Our faith has been renewed
Now love is alive!
Wave your baby girl goodbye
I am walking down the aisle
I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by
I know that on the outside he's disgusting
And even on the inside, he's disgusting
But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right
(Making it right, making it right!)
With my family by my side
♪
O.M.G.
Dressed to a "T"
Fancy and formal
I found me a wife
L'chaim to life
This is so normal!
I was ignored
But now, I'm adored!
'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied
Give it up for my underage bride!
Here comes the bride
Here comes the bride
God be glorified
I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright
My creepy old guy
My creepy old guy
Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?
Oh yeah, that's right
Yeah, that's right
So let's make him alive!
I am marrying my creepy old guy!
Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy
Guy, guy, creepy old guy
Guy, guy
(I have chills)
Yeah!