Driving into town
Fucking truck broke down
Two day walk in boots and shorts
No other option now
Down the track just a little bit
I stopped to have a shit
No leaves or bark to wipe me arse
Fucking hell sweet Jesus
'Cause I've got dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse
Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus
Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane
Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way
Check me water flask
Got a try to make it last
Just tiny sips to wet my lips
Can't waste it on me arse
Then in come a cloud of flies
In me mouth, me nose and eyes
But when those bastards sniffed me arse
They all fucked off and died
'Cause I've got dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse
Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus
Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane
Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way
Itching, chafing sore
Can hardly fucking walk
Waddling like a fucking duck
Fucking arse red raw
Along a straight and well worn track
Still I should have brung a map
Useless fucking GPS
Can't wipe me arse on that
'Cause I've got dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse
Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus
Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane
Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way
After two days and two nights
At last them Christmas lights
Town kids all come running out
Must've heard me rectal chimes
But they chucked rocks when they all saw
That I wasn't Santa Claus
Just you wait until Christmas day
You little cunts will get fuck all, except for
Dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse
Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus
Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane
Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way
Finally crawled into the pub
Someone call the fire truck
Got smoke and sparks coming out me arse
And spotfires on me nuts
But before the fire truck come
And before the doused me bum
I klanged me knackers and rattled them dangs
And the whole pub sang along, we all sang
Dingle berries, dingle berries, dangling from me arse
Tiny bits of shit stuck to the hairs around me anus
Jingling like Christmas bells, driving me insane
Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way
Dingle berries, dingle berries, jingling all the way