Blown too much of me time
Buying dinner and wine
And me money on flowers and lollies
Only to find, that what's on me mind
Isn't on her's and she's sorry
So I've made up some lines
To stop wasting time
And keep me from blowing me brass
I'm ever so cool, I just prop on the stool
Right next to hers and I ask:
Do you fuck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
Cos you got a nice 'ed
And you look pretty honest
So me face will be leaving in quarter of an hour
I'd like you to be on it
You know how it feels
When you first meet a shiela
And the bullshit you gotta go through
Like calling her up and telling her you love her
When all that you'd love is just to screw
But she wants to hold hands
And you to meet her old man
And sit around for hours and talk
But me new method is you just cut through the shit
And get down to the goodies straight off
Do you fuck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
Do you sleep in the nick?
Do you give head very often?
If we can decide your place or mine
We can fuck off then
So the next time you see a good looking shiela
And you'd give a week's pay to hold her
Don't sit acting dumb
Just front her full on
And drop a few lines that I told ya
This new method of mine
Might not work every time
But then again no method will
I've been spat at and slapped
And kneed in the knackers (hu-hu)
But then I got a few fucks as well
Do you fuck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
If the answer is no to me questions above
Then be a good sport and give me the name
Of a girlfriend who does!