I'm not sure if it's the winter or if I'm just depressed Because my head feels like it's swelling from the thoughts that I've repressed And maybe I should stop the smoke from entering my chest Because as the days grow shorter the same thing happens to my breath As it quickens I am nervous, shaking in my bed And I've been crumbling under thoughts Inside my awful head I'm falling down I'm fading out And the blinds across the room Shine bright along the edges Proving I have wasted yet another Mid-December morning You won't know what I am Or know how this feels I'm still drifting back to the way things were But I finally took back the wheel From the things that you said Oh they hurt me so A thousand thoughts that you'll never know I still live with this crippling doubt Knowing that one day my teeth will eventually fall out And I won't be able To tell you the things That I wanted to say And I won't be able To tell you the things That I wanted to say I want to know if your cat died I want to hear your dad explain death To your little brother I want to be there Or at least some place I can hear Or at least some place I can hear