Oh the day can't begin till the guard lets me in
Then I walk for some exercise
In less then a snap I complete my daily lap
Then it's time to socialize
I visit Grady and Ruth at the Information Booth
Then bring the earring lady a Ben and Jerry's Shake
Then I go to Pet Land where the manager Stan
Pays me a buck to feed a dangerous snake
Then I pass the tie rack on my way to RadioShack
Where I pretend to be a Hollywood star
I try to walk like John Wayne and do Singin' in the Rain
While the janitor laughs from afar
A little bit later, on the glass elevator
We're so high I have to close my eyes
"He takes his 11:30 crap" then go over to the Gap
And try on clothes for moms with kids my size
Zoom off to Panda Express, their Kung Pao chicken is the best
But it's Sbarro's for a medium drink
'Cause the staff is really nice and they only use cubed ice
Which is better then crushed I think
Bang a left and I'm at Sears, look for Chuck with the hairy ears
'Cause he lets me catch a quick cat nap
But then Mrs. Fishbourne's daughter puts my hand in warm water
And I wake up with a wet yellow lap
Footlocker is my last stop where I have to go and shop
For some clean pants and a couple of fresh shirts
'Cause when I leave the mall I ref Youth League basketball
And to look your best never hurts
But the greatest thing of all, if the truth be told
Here at the mall it's never too hot or cold
'Cause they were smart enough to make it temperature controlled
At the mall, at the mall, at the mall!
Tra-la-la!