The pilot had a heart attack The co-pilot can't be found The people in the aisles are screaming They know the plane's going down We need a hero Someone to save us We need a hero To land the plane We need a hero Who's going to do it We need a hero To save the day So I jump to my feet and I volunteer The people on the plane all start to cheer I get a high-five from a baby And a hickey from a flight attendant So I go in the cockpit Put the headset on And grab the main control Then right away I crash the plane Because I don't know what I'm doing