Well, we all know a guy Who shaves his chest We all know a guy Who wears a leather vest We all know a guy Who knows a lot about coffee We all know a stud Who would fight anyone We all know a fool Who wears his hair in a bun We all know a guy Who says he fucked his babysitter When he was 12 Yeah, we all know a guy Who wears too much cologne We all know a guy Who's better when he's stoned We all know a guy Who hugs your wife Five seconds too long Well, we all know a guy Who's starting a band We all know a guy Who's missing a hand We all know a guy Who doesn't work But still goes twice a year to Ibiza We all know a guy Who said he almost went pro We all know a guy with a red afro We all know a guy Who's dick color Doesn't match his body We all know a guy Whose hair always looks wet We all know a guy With a pig as a pet We all know a guy Who knows a guy Who says he knows Guy Fieri And we all know a guy With weird allergies We all know a guy Who sneezes in threes So how come we don't know Who my real father is?