Hello, hello Calling a Karl Projektorinski to the front Of the cathedral, you have won Dear sir May I congratulate you first? Oh, what an honor Human, human of thew year And you won! Human, human of the year And you won! Why are you so scared? You stand there shaking in your pew The icons are whispering to you They're just old men Like on the benches in the park Except their balding spots are Glistening with gold Human, human of thew year And you won! Human, human of the year And you won! Aaah, aaah, aaaah, aaaaaah You have won! Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Outside the cars are beepin' Out a song just in your honor And though they do not know it All mankind are now your brothers And thus the cathedral had spoken Wishing well to all us sinners And, with a sigh, grew silent Till next year's big human winner Outside the cars are beepin' Out a song just in your honor And though they do not know it All mankind are now your brothers All mankind are now your brothers Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hello, hello Calling a Karl Projektorinski to the front Of the cathedral You have won!