I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my bed
All my thoughts were misconstructed and there was fog inside my head
So I went out to the water for to find some air to breathe
But the ocean was busy arguing semantics with the sea
So I went back to my house, but my house was not a home
It was just a pack of cigarettes sittin' all alone waiting for the fire
So I set fire to the cigarettes and called up all my friends
I said "WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY UNTIL EVERYONE IS DEAD!"
And then we stole the local liquor store and had ourselves a sale
But my license was suspended and so I ended up in jail
By the time my term was over all the booze was gone
And everybody was so wasted they thought it was 1941, waitin' for the war
So I said, "To hell with all this nonsense, I'm gonna leave this place!"
So I powdered my belongings, and I loaded up my face
Then I stole the nearest tricycle and all the lemonade
And as I rode into the sunset I felt just like Jesse James
But the local sheriff was waiting for me with a glass of water
Ue said "Son I've got this poster
If you'd just sign it for my daughter - make it out to Sue"
But I couldn't find a pencil, and I couldn't find a pen
I couldn't find myself, and I couldn't find my friends
And my tricycle was broken, and the lemonade was bad
And even worse it turns out the local sheriff was actually my dad
I said, "I didn't know I had a sister!", he said, "I didn't know I had a son!"
So he invited me to the tavern, but I wasn't 21 so I just went back to bed
Alright