The mighty grunion Are rising up and storming the beach And on the toll road The trolls are slipping out of their leash Hey, John Wayne It's good to see you When I get off the plane Your bronze skin has turned pale He says, "Pilgrim, tell me how did I fail?" On Fascist Island The reservoir is taking a leak The money boys and boy toys Are sexually reaching their peak Hey, John Wayne We can't get credit And we're feeling your pain Mother Marion says "My hands are bleeding And I wish I were dead!" Coming down with Deep neurosis Carcinoma Ketosis It's the Big C For my Sharona We got that O.C. Melanoma Hey, John Wayne, We never meant To take your name in vain He says "It's too late I guess I'll always be your patron saint" So please release us Put back the pieces Heal our diseases Extend our leases The well has run dry We need a tough guy We need a dead eye To save us from the mess that we're in Hey John Hey John Wayne Hey Duke! A majestic mighty warrior Is rising up and storming the beach...