When I left Independence, I was just a kid Mostly unaware of the world and all it hid I left for California to pan the streams for gold When I left Independence, I was 17 years old When I left my family to go out on my own I condemned my father to work the fields alone I was bound for glory and my own claim to stake But when I got to California, I'd gotten here too late If you've ever known true hunger, you know what it can do The things I did for money, they changed me through and through Treasure is a tricky thing, if you seek it you might find That you've left Missouri dirt for the California kind The young men who rode with me on the village raids There were so many orphans and widows that we made The violence sanctioned by the State was calculated, it was cold Here in California, I got 30 pieces for my soul It's hard to tell my story when I've so much left to live When I think of my father, I hope he can forgive me It's hard for me to reconcile who I was, who I became A slave to my ambition, the devil's favorite game Come sunrise tomorrow, by God's grace I'll depart I'm leaving California with an aching in my heart Please grant me absolution, Father, for all these things I've done And I'll work out my penance on the trail to Oregon