She can have the kitchen, She can have the bathroom, I'll even let her have the den 'Cause everything I need, even a bit of weed, Is safe inside my kingdom My wife is usually nagging, and if she ain't she's slagging something that is dear to me So I have a place where I can get some space, I don't even have to leave to take a leak Welcome to my kingdom on Earth Please don't come in, the king is giving birth Don't stand out there in the hallway quietly listing To see if you can catch me masturbating I got a stack of dirty books So I can have a look And see if something comes up 'Cause when I'm in my chamber I don't think about behaviour 'Cause there's no one there to witness it And you know the king has strange tastes And there's no limit to the places He will go when he is wasted Just look at it like this I don't leave right after I piss I just stay a while and unload some stress