Hey Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb
I remember when I was eight, my life was going great
My sister loved snapple there was no debate
I thought it would be funny to play a sweet prank
Take the plastic of the cap and put it in her drink
And when she sipped it I saw her start to choke
I couldn't forsee it'd get caught in her throat
Her birthday was ruined beacuse of my stupid mistake
She never drank snapple again and I got all her cake
Thanks, Mom, for stepping up and saving the day (You rock!)
I didn't want you to find out this way (I love you!)
Hey, Mom I did something that wasn't that cool
So now I gotta follow that Mother's Day rule
Hey Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb
And when I was fifteen I messed up again (Oh man)
Trying to impress some girls with my friends
See, I understand the ladies and here was the scoop
Hot girls can't resist the sight of burning poop
So I found a dog lured him up the steps
Tried to feed him X-Lax but he wouldn't ingest
But I didn't stress out I just dealt with the glitches
I knew what I had to do to impress these bitches
But the fire kept spreading, t wouldn't stay put (Aw snap!)
So my Mama had to step the crap out with her foot
Hey, Mom, I did something that wasn't that cool
So now I gotta follow that Mother's Day rule
Hey Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb
Hey, Mom, you're the bomb
Hey, Mom, you're the bomb
Sorry we hid so many things from you years ago
But here's a couple of the things you probably should know
I watched porn on the computer when I told you I never did
Put a sandwhich in the VCR when I was a little kid
I punched a hole in the wall and I hid it with a poster
Tried to cook a pizza in the mother flippin' toaster
Threw a big ass party every time you were away
Lied to a hot neighbour and told her I was gay
And that fish might have died because I overfed
And I might have done some stuff with a girl in your bed
Hey Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb
Hey Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb