(Yo)
I took a celibate oath
To never fuck my life up again with meds or the coke
Too much blood on the hands and red on the cloak
And I'm just tryin' to scurry the land
And wash the red in the moat with soap
Let the suds begin to cover and coat
Lather and rinse until the sin has had its time to revoke
Life is a joke
That's why my smile stays delirious
And why I take pride in askin' "why so serious?"
Seriously?
Objects are more stressful than they appear to be
In the rearview mirror, so leave it be
And be the weirdest freak you possibly can
Chug beer and be a bearded geek
As long as you never sweat it
When you're tryin' to keep your self-esteem
A simple set of three steps, an easy recipe
But it's up to you
If you're going to accept the steam or let it freeze
Now I can lend every ingredient you'll ever need
But it's your demeanor that precedes you starving
Or eating a festive feast
And I am not afraid to die
I'm just a little weary of livin' and never really feelin' alive
And I am not afraid to die
I'm just a little weary of livin' and never really feelin' alive
I see a pinch of faith in a gray cloud
With a haze shrouded around it
Thick mounds so it phases out any ray of sun
That tries to get crazy and make its rounds
'Cause that light's pulling through
Whether it's hours or some days from now
A perfect perception of perseverance
I been learning lessons, searching for realness and personal clearance
Purposeful feelings act as surgical healings
My verbs let me breathe in
No matter how steep that deep end gets
I gotta keep those breaths
I'll rent some scuba gear and put it in a shoebox with a few rocks
To keep flows fresh, this as real as Toad gets
And if I ever opened up, you'd be sure to have a mess to clean
Out of all the songs containing levity
This the first one with vulnerability from little pesky me
Pessimistic with old records for some
Aesthetically pleasing home-dweller, a recluse
And there's no place I'd rather be
And I am not afraid to die
I'm just a little weary of livin' and never really feelin' alive
And I am not afraid to die
I'm just a little weary of livin' and never really feelin' alive
But
I spent a lot of time wallowing, hollowing out these memories
Following every demon while polishing off these scented trees
Lest we forget I'm on borrowed time
So technically, if tomorrow I die, I'd be happy with this messy streak
Blessed be to every tragedy experienced
And every tab of acid that ever had me near-delirious
A little lesson learned about being open-minded
In my spine lies the bindings, reminders of all the hopeful times
Like with the crew back at Ace's house
The place was made a sacred lounge, the regulars were safe and sound
Pills with weights and pounds, ounces never baking
Rounds of Jäger 'til we faded and we're face down, down and out
But we made it somehow, escape the fate
'Cause there's no way we weren't supposed to die in 2008
Funny now lookin' back at the paths that we've taken
'Cause I wouldn't change a thing for all the laughs we created
And I am not afraid to die
I'm just a little weary of livin' and never really feelin' alive
And I am not afraid to die
I'm just a little weary of living a lie