I've been at a crossroad
Wondering
Wondering where I'd go now, mhmm
(I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)
Pray the Lord, pray the Lord keep my soul now
Cause people been
People been taking tolls on me
Lord, I've been trying
Cast my burdens on to you now
My heart is still heavy now (How heavy is it?)
My heart is still heavy now (tell me about it)
I've been praying plenty (okay)
I've been praying plenty now (oh)
I've been praying plenty (tell me about it)
I've been praying plenty now (okay)
Lemme let go
Lemme let go
Lemme let go
I gotta let you know
Gotta let you know
Gotta let you know
Lemme heal my soul
Lemme heal my soul
Lemme heal my soul
I need to really grow
Need to really grow
Need to really grow (like a tree, ha)
There was trauma inside my inner child life
The tears I cried for years
With codependent lies (that's crazy, man)
I need direction
I need a blessing (need a blessing)
Just stay so present
Can't be depressive
I need direction
I need a blessing
This all some testing
Don't lose the message
My heart is still heavy now (How heavy is it?)
My heart is still heavy now (tell me about it)
I've been praying plenty (okay)
I've been praying plenty now (oh)
I've been praying plenty (tell me about it)
I've been praying plenty now (okay)
I just would like to say
That I'm—I'm a survivor, I think
And, uh
I, um
I feel I'm as good as anybody
And perhaps better
I used to wear my heart on my sleeve
With tattered garments that bleed
Stones thrown at my team
I was blinded by schemes
That I made in my mind
Lemme stop playing blind
'Cuz these kids are alright (are they though?)
Re-aim, with enemies in sight
Touched, abused in middle school
Formed my attachment style
Black mailed a black male
The pain I held was really wild
Trust issues, problematic
Was a little angsty child
And I'm sorry for my ass
Misinterpreting them dials
Emotionally starved
Destroy the lonely in the dark
This odd ass world
Strange I tried to play my part
Saturation in the thoughts
Saturation in the art
Needed one day of peace
In my newest blue arc
So when I got a little seen
I overstep, you couldn't breathe
I wanna treat you like a queen
But the timing feeling brief
And I hate attention seek
With the things I see
Why the world so bleak
Love really burn weak
Niggas be tweeting like digital footprints just don't exist
Stress on my mind, a war is lit and a spliff don't hit
The trauma I'm pouring, like God, you hear this kid?
I'm toxic, I'm petty, annoying and I need a fix
I'm getting older, I'm an uncle, so surreal
Pray when this drop, everyone could really heal
Don't want burnt bridges (I don't know, I don't know)
'Cause we broke the seventh seal
Odd world outside (I don't know, I don't know)
Cannot suppress my feels
It's a little odd world
An odd world
It's a little odd world
An odd world
But I am not bothered
Not bothered
I am not bothered
Not bothered
It's a little odd world
An odd world
It's a little odd world
An odd world
But I am not bothered, yeah (that's a lie, I'm extremely bothered)
I really just wander, yeah (okay, um)
How many times did I tell you I'll get better?
I kept repeating pain and all it did was kept you stressing
You didn't deserve that, man, I learned my lesson
Lemme really close my mouth, and really put a effort
Therapy just kept me bluffing
The leaf just kept me bummy
Isolation kept me running
Yeah, you saw me stunted
Now I saw my world
I didn't see yours
Another black boy
Really acting all absurd
Dwelling pity parties only hurt me some more
So I did something new, I told a different soul
Blood family, felt so weird, I lost control
My parents never knew about the pain I hold
Did they feel my weakness when I opened that page?
Did they see me different? No, I felt no shame
And I felt so sane, in the longest damn time
Yeah, I felt that change that I wanted in my life (oh, thank God!)
First and foremost, can't spectate any longer
Been playing it passive, but these risks make me stronger
Like Miss Badu, I'm on and on and on (I don't know, I don't know)
My peace with trauma
I put in a song (I don't know, I don't know)
I turn my pain into some commas, please
Potential ain't it, I need to grab the keys
I found control, driving home, thinking 'bout my needs
I'm feeling like Tracy (I don't know, I don't know)
When I'm speaking on this beat
I let my soul fly (I don't know, I don't know)
'Cause I'm tired being
Whatever, man
It's a little odd world
An odd world
It's a little odd world (I'm tired of being weak)
An odd world
But I am not bothered
Not bothered
But I am not bothered
Not bothered
It's a little odd world (odd world)
An odd world
It's a little odd world
An odd world
But I am not bothered, yeah (odd world)
I really just wander, yeah (oh, thank God!)