At the end of last year there was a whole lot going on in my family My oldest sister was pregnant and The doctors expected her to give birth any day But at the same time, my auntie was sick In the hospital In a comma And the doctors expected her to die any day So I go to bed one night and My phone rings at some obnoxious hour in the morning I roll over and I see that its 4 a.m and I look At my phone and I see that it's my momma calling me Before I went to answer the phone, I paused For a moment Because I realized There were only two reasons my momma Will be calling me at four in the morning And I wasn't sure if my nephew had just been born Or my auntie had just died And in that moment I felt two very strong, very different emotions I was overwhelmed with excitement and I felt so alive At the possibility of my nephew being here But I was also paralysed with fear and I felt so ill like I was gonna' throw up At the thought of having lost my auntie The tension in that moment That's what it means to be human That's what it means to exist in this Universe created good by god but broken by sin That moment that's what we're all trying to make sense of