If a girl isn't pretty, like a Miss Atlantic City All she gets in life is pity, and a pat Is a nose with deviation, such a crime against the nation Should I throw her into jail or drown the cat She must shine in every detail, like some ring you're buying retail Be a standard size that fits a standard dress When a girl's incidentals are no bigger than two lentils Well to me that doesn't spell success If a girl isn't pretty, like a Miss Atlantic City She should dump the stage and try another route Any guy who pays a quarter for a seat Just feels he outta see a figure that his wife can't substitute Frumpy faces that could cause ya to have temporary nausea Do I have to hear a lecture such as that? Kindly name a star who hasn't won a contest or a pageant If she hasn't, she just never gets to bat If a girl isn't pretty If a girl isn't pretty She should get a job Get a weekly pay 'Cause if a girl isn't pretty, like a Miss Atlantic City She's a real Miss Nobody USA Thank you Thank you You all don't know really what that song is about, you're all I'm sure you're all very good looking out there