Put my heart on the line until God decides to flatten it
If I run out of time, I probably lost track of it
Honestly I'm mad
That I dropped a song and then after it
Forgot where all the passion went
But it's hard to have passion when your backs against the wall
Prides in your veins
The wise would say
That my
Times gone to waste
And my
Life would've changed
If I didn't put all this on the page
Do something different 'bout all the pain
You wanted bliss? You made a mistake
This ain't a gift, it's like a weight
The weight of the world you need to take
I chase my dreams to stay awake
They prey on me to feed their hate
I faded a way, didn't keep my pace
And lost my lead but even today
There ain't a way I'll leave this race
However long it seems to take
However long I need to make
All of the songs that we create
To earn a place amongst the greats
I hope it's worth the words i've prayed
I know it's worth the stress i've faced
Whether I do or don't get paid
A fool would throw this all away
So I know, know, know that
I'm sorry I just wasn't one of them, one of them
Yeah I'm sorry that I wasn't on the fence, on the fence
Yeah I'm sorry I just wasn't one of them, one of them
Yeah I'm sorry but I'm in it till the end, in the end
I am not on the come up
I am coming alive
Don't need to run up the numbers
If that means runnin' up lies
I won't take over the summer
This'll take over your life
Yeah I'm out of my coma
Know that i was taking my time so now I gotta get
Gotta get out of this house
Cat and mouse
With my dreams, I'll
Move in a cabin that's south
Pave a route with my team so I'll
Cast down all of my doubts that I count endlessly
While they're passed out on the couch, I vouch I'll never sleep in peace
Putting in 10 thousand hours
For my 15 minutes
It's either chase it or cower
Face to face with my decisions
Safe to say that god had did it
Cost of livin' added up
But I would rather be starving makin' art than heartless and thus I'll stay
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Tell them all they don't have to believe
But I'm gonna make something out of my dreams
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Hundred miles an hour tryna run from my demons
Blood on my shirt
Got my heart on my sleeve
I hope I'm supposed to be here
Had a taste of heaven, I'm just holding it near
Cause ever since 2011 I've been focused in gear
With an inevitable path I chose
When I posted for them to hear
When the ocean was getting closer
My clothes were soaked in the fear
Of all the social expectations that followed after those years
The only hope that kept me sane
Was the notebook that had steered
My own decisions
How I'm living
And even in my my career
So I'm sorry i just wasn't one of them, one of them
I'm sorry that I'd do it all again, all the stress
That I put on myself
That I put on my friends
So I'm giving it hell
'Till heaven is here in the end
I killed these demons
Never became them
Don't wanna be what they've been painting
Don't wanna leave till I remain
As one of the greatest
Momma you raised him
Out of the basement into world
Outrunning my dreams, y'all are just chasin'
After the placements, after the girls
But after the pain that I have endured
This pure creation
Birthing out of my words
This curse is breaking
And in return
The strength is taken into my verbs and nouns
Forever pronounce
That this is my life and I'm laying down
This doubt that I had is dead and gone
So if I drown when I swim to shore
I pray the words that I wrote live on, yeah