Of all the men I've met Who've owned a cherished pet I've yet to meet one who Had a slug among their zoo It's surely not a crime To be all covered in slime Being green small & squidgy Don't mean I don't find you pretty The common back-yard slug Is not just any garden bug He is friendly & he is kind & He leaves a lovely trail behind I think you'll find I'm right When I say slugs don't fight Or spit or shout or swear Or stick chewing gum in your hair He moves around quite slowly He'll even leave your cabbage holy But he's not an insect sinner It's just his idea of dinner Most slugs are rather lonely So if you see your one & only Pick him up & kiss him Coz when he's gone I'm sure you'll miss him He's sensitive he is hearty And he's a bit shy at a party So please don't be a mug And Always remember to give a slug a hug