Bellowing instructions from the touchline, that's my dad Purple in the face' getting really mad Man on! Man on! An empty stadium yells "man on" Come on! Come on! The cross goes sailing wildly over the heads of everyone "Stop fannying around! Keep it nice and simple!" "You're not Lionel Messi' just pass the bloody ball!" Man on! Man on! An empty stadium yells "man on" Come on! Come on! The cross goes sailing wildly over the heads of everyone Perhaps we were expecting this to be a walk in the park But these bastards from King's Priory are kicking lumps out of us Man on! Man on! An empty stadium yells "man on" Come on! Come on! The cross goes sailing wildly over the heads Their left back slips taking a free kick It trickles over the mud straight to me In desperation he scrambles and slides I leap his flailing leg and dink it Over the sprawled body of the goalie The net is gaping The ball takes a bobble and I slice wide of the mark Everything goes quiet Staring into the red dark of my palms They launch a long ball into our box Suddenly we find ourselves with a corner to defend I am on the near-post Somehow it gets bundled underneath my feet At the final whistle I am inconsolable Man on! Man on! I reckon dad is really disappointed with me Come on! Come on! He tries his best to not show how he really feels In the car home' he says "dust yourself down Move on to next week's game Shall we pick up a Chinese or would you rather fish and chips?"