My whole life I've played victim
Claimed the innocent one
That's not right,
Truth is I was the one with the gun
Caught in the act, red handed
What do I do now
When who I am catches up
With all the things that I've done?
I've been looking for love in all the wrong places
Trusting every soft hand
And too many kind faces
But here we go again
I thought you were the one,
How do I cope with loss
When it was me who fucked up?
I'm still not over you, and I'll never be.
I still trace back the guilt; it always starts with me.
So what now?
I guess it's back to the gallows.
Relax? Relax?
Don't fucking tell me that.
After I pulled out the knife
That you left in my back.
Fine? Fine?
Don't fucking waste my time.
Because of you I lost all my friends
And I'm losing my mind.
Life forced blame down my throat
Filled my stomach with guilt
Put my conscience to sleep
And loaded my palms with these pills
One by one they go down
But they don't fucking make a change
How do I find peace of mind when I'm fucking deranged?