I woke up last year and realized I was almost dead
Face to face with my biggest fears, so I just went back to bed
I learned the long way and the hard way, that shit's not fair
I was living the dream - it turns out that it's a nightmare
'Cause I don't really wanna live like this anymore
But I don't quite want to die like I did before
I just want to find a good place and go
Am I allowed to be happy yet?
I dropped the ball last year, and this year just the same
Sold my soul and I lost my heart playing their little games
Now there's an expectation for me to publicize when my brain is under attack
But if it's going to kill me then I don't want to do that
But I'm too scared to really push back
'Cause I don't really wanna live like this anymore
But I don't quite want to die like I did before
I just want to find a good place and go
Am I allowed to be happy yet?
I'm not calling it a dark spot
How do you perceive the ink blots in your life?
I think it might have been the best time
But I don't really want to psychoanalyze
Waking up from the long nights
Glitter stuck in my eyes
Tired and demoralized
Kevin, can you drive?
I don't think I've got the right fight
I'm awkward under these lights
Maybe I should ghost write?
Letting out a deep sigh
Back bench is where I cry
I try to make it normalized
I swear that I am fine
I think I could've done better
But I was slowly kind of dying on the inside
But I'm afraid of the headspace I had back then
It sounds dumb in a song, but I miss my friends
I just want to buy a new van and go
Am I allowed to be happy yet?
The survey says no
No, bitch you sold your soul
Kevin, can you drive? Tonight, please?