So, so I'm 20 years old, and I'm livin' and playing on the Jersey shore
And I'm waitin' to be discovered
Now, I have some confidence.
I've been around a bit, and without a doubt
I am definitely the best thing that I've ever seen
I've already played in front of every conceivable audience.
I had played fireman's fairs, midnight madness supermarket openings
Drive-in movies, uh, in front of the concession stand in between films,
I've played beach parties, offices, clubs, pizza parlors,
Coffee shops, bowling alleys, trailer parks, roller rinks, VFW halls
CYO canteens, the elks lodge, YMCA gymnasiums, hockey rinks
County fairs, carnivals, high school dances, weddings, fraternity parties
Bar mitzvahs, [?], battle of the bands, Sing Sing Prison
And Marlboro Psychiatric Hospital.
Send me your murderers and your maniacs and let me entertain 'em, alright?
It's what I do. That's all true.
That's all before I was 23 years old, I was frustrated
I listen to the radio and I think I'm as good as that guy
I'm better than that guy, so why not me?
Answer: because I live in the fucking Boondocks, alright.
Let me explain this to you.
I live in the boondocks.
There is nobody here and no one comes down here.
It's a grave.
There was no Jersey, Jersey, Jersey Shore, Jersey Almighty shit.
I invented that. Before me, Jersey was Jeserkistan. Jeserkistan!
One of the little stan things that nobody knows a fuckin' thing about, ya know.
And New York was a million miles away from the Jersey Shore.
In my little town as a child we knew no one who had ever been to New York City. Jesus Christ, it was only an hour away!
But no, you might as well have said you're going to the fuckin' moon!
Hey, we're going to the moon, you wanna go?
No, no, no, no New York, we're provincial
Everybody was afraid ya know, everybody was afraid of the big city.
And there was no internet, there was no ET
Or MTV, or cable TV or satellite either
This is before anyone and everyone's asscrack from any place U.S.A.
Could be seen all over the world, should they choose,
In the push of a key, in the next instant.
So who was gonna come to the Jersey shore
To discover the next big thing in 1971?
You're correct. No fuckin' body.
All we heard down there was the sound of, one hand clapping
Wasn't gonna happen