If I had boots like Emmy Lou's, I'd be a big old star. With rhinestones on my BVD's, and a Hummingbird guitar. I'd buy myself the biggest bus that ever graced the track With a loveseat for the two of us, and a swimming pool in back. If I had boots like Emmy Lou's I'd wear my hair like Loretta used to do I'd sing like Patsy Cline And Kitty Wells combined If I had boots like Emmy Lou's I'd never need a shine If I had boots like Emmy Lou's, I'd be so very rich I'd hire a dog to scratch me every time I had an itch I'd buy a thousand Cadallics, with longhorns on the front. Drive one 'til the ashtray filled, then haul it to the dump If I had boots like Emmy Lou's I'd wear my hair like Loretta used to do I'd sing like Patsy Cline And Kitty Wells combined If I had boots like Emmy Lou's I'd never need a shine I'd buy my clothes from Nudie Have fingernails like Tammy Tease my hair like Dolly And measure ten feet tall I'd teach those boots to talk They'd lecture in New York If I had boots like Emmy Lou's, I'd never need to walk If I had boots like Emmy Lou's, I'd die without a care I fly straight up to heaven's gate and shove my way in there And when Saint Peter asked me What I'd done to be so bold I'd point down to my boots and say - "They're recently re-soled" So fit me for a robe. Wings and halo too But I cannot stay if you take away my boots like Emmy Lou's If I had boots like Emmy Lou's I'd wear my hair like Loretta used to do I'd sing like Patsy Cline And Kitty Wells combined If I had boots like Emmy Lou's I'd never need a shine