But the light from the holy response is too bright
And I will not see my own glory eclipsed
Nor my shame come into visible spectrum
Nor acknowledge my monstrosity as having been witnessed.
I AM NOT.
Who are You to reveal this truth of myself?
Did You not put this pit before me?
Anyone but I am guilty.
Oh, how I long for You in the pit of my soul,
But my mouth fills with bile
In the glory of Your presence.
Yes, my hands still clench the fetish
That I fashioned from amorous matter
Into my own refection
In the midst of internal darkness.
You see it.
And I can see the corridor before me
Extending away,
My own life fading
And love abandoned.
But no, no, no!
I will not.
Reject that thought.
Not Your way.
I close my eyes and grind my teeth.
When I look again,
Let the sight be gone
And my own kingdom coming.
Let only internal projections
Be reflected in the faces
And the objects I see before me.
I AM GOD.
NAUGHT ELSE IS.
Remove all greatness
So the small can be great.
Blind all eyes
So they think I am king.
Block out light;
Let my impotence be hidden.
Destroy all minds
So the fool seems a sage.
Spread false hope
That allegiance is rewarded.
Magnify my weakness
Until it breeds fear.