Dear Mother I'm lying on a white hot blanket Wishing you were here We're a thousand miles from Cairo And it's taken us a year to get this far Dear Mother I've grown a beard in the last three weeks And I can't see nothing but sand You wouldn't recognize me Mother But I know you'd understand Dear Mother We spend the nights under canvas Dreaming of ice cold beer And we spend the days in the desert I miss you Mother dear Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Dear Mother We found the Ten Commandments, Mother Just like I said we would But somebody broke our compass, Mother And the water is no good And Beau said it was sabotage So I laughed at him and said Mother wouldn't let that happen, Beau But Beau was dead So I left him in the sand dunes And I struck out on my own With a page of hieroglyphics And the tablets of stone Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Dear Mother They attacked while I was sleeping Dreaming of ice cold beer But when they saw what I was carrying They backed away in fear They said the hand of God is upon you It is written on the wall, dear Mother They must have thought I was Elijah or something With the beard and all! So they led me down to the catacombs The walls were lined with bones And a voice said he'd give me three of his wives For just a glimpse of the stones Dear Mother I said that I had lost them They were buried in the shifting sands But they said if I didn't give them the tablets They'd cut off both of my hands, Mother Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) dear Mother Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Mother Dear Mother I'm running out of water, Mother The map was a fake Now I'm stuck on the Devil's anvil, Mother Payin' for Beau's mistake I woke up in a sandstorm I'd had a terrible dream I'd broken the Ten Commandments, Mother I began to scream But something else was out there Following the scent And it cast the shadow of a cobra On the walls of the tent Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Dear Mother I hadn't got a rifle Or a dagger or a sword So my only other weapon As the word of the Lord So when it wrapped itself around my body And it started crushing bones I had to make a decision, Mother It was me or the stones Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Dear Mother I'm lying on a white hot blanket Wishing you were here I'm a thousand miles from Cairo And it's taken me a year to get this far To get this far Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?) Riding on Joey's camel (How did you escape?)