I went to old Bills funeral One of the multitude They asked me if I would be kind enough to say a word or two Well I did not want to tell a lie with anything I said But how could I avoid it and not speak ill of the dead So I started out by saying all of us have sinned But each of us can only hope that god will understand Bill made mistake through out his life But now that it's all done I am sure he has brought some happiness to each and everyone Cause if heaven is pleased when sinners ceases to sin And the Devil is pleased when another soul comes in When the earth is glad to be rid of a knave Then everybody is happy that Bill is in his grave When he was just a little boy his sins were not all that great He used to steal the money from the church collection plate But I won't call him a shyster Who loved to cheat and steal Though he did once burn his mother in a real estate deal I won't call him cruel but he used to shave his cat And he did once but a snake inside his grandma's favorite hat He burned his brothers business and Ran off with his wife He framed his sister with the crime And sent her up for life So for those of us that lived with Bill And knew him all to well Let's take this opportunity to bid him fond farewell And if old Bill is looking in I know that he can see Today he has made this troubled world a better place to be