Well I've been digging through my mind
Just trying to find something that I can use to justify
Going back to living how I used to think that I'd die, but I
Just keep on digging through my mind
But you keep telling me I won't
You say you wish I knew all of these things that I still don't
And sometimes giving up feels like it's getting real damn close
But you keep telling me I won't
And I fight with myself every day
I made a habit out of getting into my own way and I
Can feel it killing me real slow
And vices feel like a long lost friend
'Til they beat you down all over again and I
Know that I'll have to let them go
If I get old
I've been standing on the edge
For so long now it's gotten too damn hard not to pretend
That this is just how I am bound to be until it ends
So I keep standing on that edge
But you keep pulling me right back
Further, but not far enough that I'm able to relax
And it's hard to see what you have over everything you lack
So you keep pulling me right back
And I fight with myself every day
I made a habit out of getting into my own way
I keep picking up more weight than I can hold
And I can't see me how she does
It's dark in the shadow of who I was
But someday those weeds will be overgrown
If I get old
And I fight with myself every day
I made a habit out of hiding from my own damn brain
Just feed the flame, pray that it gets cold
But I got my woman and I got myself
And I know that I don't need nothing else
To shed the weight and sift through all the smoke
And if I've gone this far and still got by
Give me one good reason that I can't still try to
Buy back the parts of me I sold
And I never thought I'd live to see twenty-five
And when there's nothing to lose, there's nothing to mind
What scares me most is I'm starting to hope
That I'll get old
That I'll get old